Gratitude is such a wonderful thing, but can be used to manipulate our feelings and emotions by those who do not know what it really means.

What I would like to do is to share my feelings about gratitude with you.
What is Gratitude?

Per the dictionary, Gratitude is defined as:

“Gratitude, appreciation, or thankfulness is a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.”

As you can see, it is an emotion or attitude…not an act or a gesture.

Often times people refer to “being grateful”, being appreciative, thankful or in any other way expressing gratitude.

However, let’s be honest, how many of us honestly live our daily life FEELING gratitude?

How many of us take the time to feel grateful for what we have?

When is the last time you did share that gratitude with those people closest to you?

When we are going through a turbulent time and are challenged by a life transition like divorce, it is easy to forget this simple little word. I know that when I first got divorced, I would regularly say, “Yeah…I have a lot to be grateful for alright!”. And I meant it in the most sarcastic way!

As I moved forward, however, I have grown to appreciate that there is so much that I have to be grateful for. And when I focus my energy and thoughts on being grateful, amazing things happen! Gratitude has become a guiding force in my life! Next week, on Thanksgiving, we remember to “give thanks”. To take the time to think about what we are THANKFUL for.

As you approach your Thanksgiving meal, whether with family, friends, colleagues, or anyone else, make the commitment to begin a lifelong pattern of FEELING the EMOTION of gratitude.

One way to begin this is to create a Gratitude Jar.

• Ask each person in your office, your family, at your table…to write down on a small piece of paper, all that they are grateful for. It should be anonymous.
  
• Then, using some sort of jar, have each person put their piece of paper into it while silently saying what they are grateful for. You can do it aloud if the group decides that this is their wish.
  
• One person can be the holder of the jar where all of these wonderful grateful thoughts will begin to create energy for the entire group.
  
• Each year, new thoughts can and should be added to the old!

This is a wonderful little exercise to add to your Thanksgiving celebration. It is always delightful to see all ages taking a moment to reflect on what they are grateful for!

As this is a year when many of us are trying to cutback on the $$ we spend and provide more meaning to our lives, consider choosing a gift during the holiday season that reflects the importance of Gratitude.

You will see below that I have recommended the Gratitude Kit as one gift idea. What a lovely way to say “I appreciate you and want you to have the most fulfilling and wonderful life” through a gift!

Have a great week and enjoy your Thanksgiving celebration!

The following was the most wonderful definition that I found: 

What is Change?

2008 Institute of Industrial Engineers

Change Is….
Change is something that presses us out of our comfort zone. It is destiny-filtered, heart grown, faith built. Change is inequitable; not a respecter of persons. Change is for the better or for the worst, depending on where you view it. Change has an adjustment period which varies on the individual.

It is uncomfortable, for changing from one state to the next upsets our control over outcomes. Change has a ripping effect on those who won’t let go. Flex is the key. Even a roller coaster ride can be fun if you know when to lean and create new balance within the change.  

Change is needed when all the props and practices of the past no longer work. Change is not comforted by the statement ‘just hang in there’ but with the statement ‘you can make it’. We don’t grow in retreat, but through endurance. Change isn’t fixed by crying, worrying, or mental treadmilling. Change is won by victors not victims; and that choice is ours.

Change is awkward — at first. Change is a muscle that develops to abundantly enjoy the dynamics of the life set before us. Change calls own strength beyond anyone of us. Change pushes you to do your personal best. Change draws out those poised for a new way. Change isn’t for chickens. Change does have casualties of those defeated. Change will cause us to churn or to learn. Change changes the speed of time. Time is so slow for the reluctant, and yet it is a whirlwind for those who embrace it. Change is more fun to do than to be done to. Change seeks a better place at the end and is complete when you realize you are different.

Change is measured by its impact on all who are connected to it. Change is charged when you are dissatisfied with where you are. Change doesn’t look for a resting-place; just the next launching point. Change is only a waste to those who don’t learn from it. Change happens in the heart before it is proclaimed by our works. Change chaps those moving slower than the change itself.  If you can change before you have to change, there will be less pain. Change can flow or jerk, depending on our resistance to it.

Change uses the power invested in the unseen to reinvent what is seen. Change is like driving in a fog – you can’t see very far, but you can make the whole trip that way.

Change is here to stay.

Knowing that those of us who are anticipating divorce, experiencing divorce or moving forward through and after divorce, managing the change process is critical.

As you approach the multitude of changes coming your way through this journey, take some time to explore and write in a journal about the following:

1. Do you control your change or does it control you?
2. What have you learned from your changes?
3. What is your motivation for change?
4. What is your motivation for NOT changing?

• learn from it

whether the change is within your control or not, or your choice or not, it is here to stay.  Now is the time to learn from “what was”.  Be open and honest about what precipitated the change and your role in it.  As we talked about, It doesn’t matter what was, it is what will be that you can shape and create.

• anticipate it

to the best of your ability, anticipate and forsee the changes that might be coming in your future.  As with anything in life, it is better to be proactive than reactive.  Knowing what you will be facing will enable you to explore strategies for managing it.

• prepare for it

once you have been able to predict or anticipate oncoming change, you can begin exploring strategies for managing it.  Researching tools and resources will provide you with ideas for how to control the change and move at your own pace.  You can create and evaluate options for how to handle it and if prepared, can avoid the common pitfall of having to react to surprise events.

• embrace it

change can be looked at as a punishment or consequence, or it can be and opportunity and possibility for new experiences.  It will be what you make it.  If you set an intention for looking at your changes as a chance to create something new and different, you will manifest just that over time.  If you are resistant and closed, the change will come anyway but will come at your increased discomfort and overwhelm.